How to transform relationship conflict into deeper connection:
Note: I’m moving to a new newsletter tool, which means Super Sunday letters may come to you on different days of the week for a limited time period. This is essential for the tool to be effective as it starts.
The content will continue to be the same. I appreciate your patience until we move back into Sunday rhythms.
Hello friend! 👋
If you’ve joined us from LinkedIn, a warm welcome from the Super Sunday community - it’s good to have you! 🙌
Conflicts are a part of life, whether at home or at work.
But what if we shifted our mindset to view conflicts not as obstacles but as opportunities for connection?
Let’s dive straight in.
1. Build awareness
(define the concept)
Conflict itself isn’t inherently negative. It becomes negative when handled poorly.
Positive psychology emphasizes how we can thrive in relationships, even in difficult moments.
In fact, you can create ‘positive conflicts’ both at home and at work. When handled well, they can strengthen relationships, improve understanding, and foster deeper connections.
Rather than avoiding conflict, approach it with curiosity and empathy to create space for problem-solving and collaboration.
When you handle it positively, you turn a difficult conversation into an opportunity for mutual growth.
2. Make these choices:
(decisions/actions to bring it to life)
1. Reflect, don’t react:
Before responding, take a moment to reflect to ensure you understand the other person’s perspective. This not only helps you gain clarity but also diffuses tension.2. Active listening:
Focus entirely on the other person’s words without planning your response. Let them feel heard and understood, so you can open up space for resolution.3. Use ‘I’ statements:
Speak from your experience rather than blaming others. Instead of saying; ‘you never listen’, say ‘I feel unheard when…’, to reduce defensiveness and have dialogue.4. Practice empathy:
Be kind and realize that the other person is also feeling frustrated. Empathy is key to perspective-taking and finding a solution that works for both parties.5. Find common ground:
Conflicts often stem from misaligned goals. Use the four previous points as building blocks to identify shared goals reach new understanding.
3. Build them in a system:
(using the science of habit and willpower to make it consistent)
Have a journal to reflect on conflicts after they happen.
You learn through reflecting on experience, not through experience alone.
Celebrate the times when you made any of the choices above. Recommit to bringing more of these choices to future conflicts (they’ll never go away, you’ll just be more skilful in managing them).
Remember: conflicts strengthen the relationship if handled well, they’re opportunities to connect deeper.
Thanks for reading!
Have a Super Sunday! ⚡️
With much joy,
Hashim