How to hold yourself accountable, like you do at work (without beating yourself up!)
3 ways you can move forward, TODAY!
Hello friend! š
Welcome to this weekās Super Sunday newsletter.
Something always confused me.
We take pride in keeping commitments we make to others (and to strangers at work), so how come it is so hard for us to keep commitments to ourselves?
Most of the time, being accountable to oneās self seems more of a burden than anything else.
Iāve personally struggled with this issue for many, many years. šāāļø
However, over the past 18 months Iāve managed to do more than I did in the 5 previous years, combined.
And Iām here to share what worked for me so you can accelerate your journey too.
Letās dive straight in!
Dream big and in public (or team up with someone)
The NUMBER ONE showstopper for commitment is distractions.
Either distracted by intention or unintentionally, both have the exact same impact ā no progress on the true goal.
There are two ways to deal with distractions:
With effort: these are the standard distraction management strategies like managing your environment, limiting input (notification), batch processing, deep work, hyper focus, etcā¦
These work great (and are critical!) but they need to be designed for and you will need to be on the lookout for sneaky ways in which your mind brings in distractions (including overthinking/irrelevant thoughts).
Effortlessly: there is a āsmarterā way to dealing with distractions. Use in conjunction with, not replacement of, the strategies above.
Decide on something that you profoundly care about and is SO BIG such that it crowds out all other distractions.
BIG AUDACIOUS GOAL!
You can further super-charge this by voicing this dream or vision or goal to others who matter to you.
It create invisible threads of accountability with people around you.
Life application:
Take out a piece of paper, or record a voice memo on your phone (just donāt do it without a medium to record in), visualize what your ideal life looks like 5 years from today ā and if thatās too hard zoom out to 10 or 20 years. What is the one AUDACIOUSLY BIG dream you have?
If nothing comes up, give it space and time, then try again!
Once super clear on that, think of the audacious goal for the coming 12 months.
Call the closest people to you and announce who you will be in those 12 months.
Check-in, check-in, check-in
Companies run on systems and processes.
If there is no system or process, no work can be consistently produced and companies structure would fall apart.
No wonder then youāre going to keep your commitments and operate with high accountability at work.
Because if you fall behind there is an entire system that will remind you, push you towards, and evaluate you on completing your commitments.
This mode of operation is necessary for the survival of any company. You too can benefit from a similar system.
Only this time you wonāt feel like youāre stabbing your ego and slaving away.
Instead, a personal accountability system can fill you with confidence and excitement.
Like your company, schedule your personal review (a simple quarterly review can create magic, yet youād be surprised by how many people only attempt a New Yearās review).
Check-in with yourself before you check-in with others!
Life application:
Pull out your calendar right now, book yourself a 3-hour quarterly review and pre-commit to prioritizing yourself in the midst of your busy agenda (one thatās usually prioritizing othersā agenda).
If you are feeling super excited, you can commit to monthly 1-hour review, book that for the future, AND do it now for the previous month.
Be kind to yourself so you can keep going on
Science shows that compassion is a higher motivator than punishment.
You read that right, parents! š
And it applies to self-compassion and self-motivation as well.
When you punish yourself you lose.
Why?
Because like any other relationship, your relationship with yourself is built on trust and harmony.
Punishment damages that trust, creates negative self-talk and a negative self-image.
A low self-image is stripped of all confidence and would give up on the first onset of any challenge.
Life application:
Next time you miss a commitment, instead of punishment, try the scientific method of self compassion; Bring kindness, recognize common humanity, and practice mindfulness.
Once done, re-commit and get back to work.
Thatās all.
Remember to have fun along the way and play the game well.
Have a Super Sunday! šŖ
With much joy,
Hashim
2 MORE WAYS I CAN HELP YOU
Awareness Strengthening via Mindfulness Workshop: Sign up to the upcoming FREE 90-min workshop, to explore the science-backed benefits of mindfulness. The last one filled up in 2 days!
1:1 Coaching: Book your 1:1 coaching with me - Iām currently offering limited free spots as part of my Masterās in Applied Positive Psychology accreditation program. Would love to help you break any barriers.
Iām very guilty of self punishment when I fall short. But Iāve been working on focusing on how much positive things fell in place to reach that far. Yes thereās more work to be done to get better, but it feels better to face it with a smile than a grin. One of the things I wrote to myself was āEvery now and then, take it easy on yourself.ā Itās also very interesting to see people use compassion when the impulse reaction is punishment.
I really liked this weeks article! I especially enjoyed the part where you talked about scheduling a personal review to check up on the goals you've set, since I have personally tried this technique of visualizing myself in 5 years, however forgot about it several months later. I'm definitely going to use your suggestion and hopefully it will help me hold myself accountable!