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3-Step Framework To Practice Self-Compassion (backed up by science)
Last week we covered self-compassion 101 and the often ignored or under-rated power of practicing that.
This week I want to equip you with a framework you can use to practice self-compassion and cultivate more of it in the future.
This framework was the first ever validated by scientific rigor and it is still considered the gold standard for all related research
Let’s dive straight in!
Step 1: Common Humanity
Knowing that mistakes happen and no body is perfect can be a great source of peace when making a mistake.
What matter is not whether a failure happened or not, rather it is the getting back up to find a solution after the failure that matters the most.
When we realize that we all are human, and mistakes do happen to everyone, we can be less self-judgmental and take it easier on ourselves.
Let go of the perfectionist attitude, the pursuit of perfection is where you want to spend your time.
Step 2: Be Kind
Being kind to yourself is the root of practicing self-compassion.
Imagine a dear friend, or a little child, making a mistake and coming to you for support - do you put more pressure and pain on them or do you speak to them with kindness?
The same attitude applies to the conversations you have with yourself after you’ve made a mistake.
Be kind and supportive, only then you are able to see the learning from the failure rather than being blinded by the anger.
Step 3: Practice Mindfulness
The last step, which continues to unfold the power of mindfulness, is to limit the issue to what actually happened.
What we generally like to do is turn the failure into a catastrophe. It is a tendency that gets exaggerated by self-judgment and lack of kindness.
Instead, when reflecting on a failure, take an active role to define it and the implications it has.
Nothing more, nothing less.
This framework may seem simple on paper but hard to practice in the moment.
The best way to make use of it is to do your reflections on paper and literally writing the 3 steps to go through them, once done with that reflection, ask yourself:
What do I want?
What needs to happen now to get closer to what I want?
And with this you move forward towards a solution while still being compassionate toward yourself and sustaining energy rather than depleting it with judgment.
Have a Super Sunday! 💪
With much joy,
PS. if interested in upping your mindfulness practice or starting one, get in touch to join this month’s MBSR class. You can sign up by clicking here